I am more confused than ever.
She won't move in with me....as she is not finished with him.
All her demons are draining me. All her cloudiness and lack of direction is making me question.
What am I getting from all this?
What about me? What about my dreams, my needs? Everything is on hold as I wait for her.
I don't think she really understands what she has asked of me...of what I have given up and the daily pain I endure.
She asked if turning me down was going to affect us. I lied....it affects my every breathing moment. She is not mine...she is not her's....
Limbo...is a word I understand....I am so torn by what I need and my love for her.
I am a woman caught between my aching desire and wanting to move into the light...into happiness because if I am honest....
I am not happy....
and I ask myself everyday....why are you doing this?
Love for her and love of self...
What about me?
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