My anger and hurt eventually subsides, it always does.
Things unfold as they do but memories haunt me.
I'm notorious for living in the past and everyday is a struggle but...
not a day goes by when you don't enter my mind and thoughts unexpectedly.
I can be doing my work, or riding my bike, or sending an email and my thoughts drift to you.
I am still hurt and probably a little angry that you lost faith.
I know i left..it was my choice. Arent you happier now?
You have what you wanted...someone that loves you with out challenge...that accepts you for you..
That looks after you...supports you...your a wife again.
It's funny how that anger, sarcasm rises. I feel cheated too. I wanted a partner that wanted what I wanted.
That wasn't always doubtful and scared and moody...you wanted someone I wasn't. I wanted happy too.
But these things are not what I remember most. There are things that broke us and there are events that shaped us.
I remember your touch at the oddest of moments...your lips...your eyes still haunt me and at night when I lay down to sleep,
you invade me.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Monday, August 11, 2014
A toast
It would have been Trish and I's 6th anniversary this past weekend.
We spoke before she went away for the weekend with her new girlfriend.
At times it is darkly surreal and inconceivable, that a year ago we were together and now the absurdity of where we are does make me smile in a dark sarcastic way.
We are different people now.
More practical than romantic. More realistic than passionate. We have goals for our lives now. More rooted in our own selves.
Happier that there is no more angst and pain. Happier now there is no more rejection, wanting or disappointments.
Maybe it's just safer, quieter to either be with someone who is gentler or to be alone?
I miss the very passion that drove both of us too insanity and to the most amazing heights.
I miss her laugh, her 12 year old smile, her sexy energy that she was oblivious too.
We really had so much going for us but......... it wasn't meant to be.
So I raise my imaginary drink in the air and toast to an anniversary that is sad and at the same time,
full of possibilities.
Happy anniversary baby. xxoo
We spoke before she went away for the weekend with her new girlfriend.
At times it is darkly surreal and inconceivable, that a year ago we were together and now the absurdity of where we are does make me smile in a dark sarcastic way.
We are different people now.
More practical than romantic. More realistic than passionate. We have goals for our lives now. More rooted in our own selves.
Happier that there is no more angst and pain. Happier now there is no more rejection, wanting or disappointments.
Maybe it's just safer, quieter to either be with someone who is gentler or to be alone?
I miss the very passion that drove both of us too insanity and to the most amazing heights.
I miss her laugh, her 12 year old smile, her sexy energy that she was oblivious too.
We really had so much going for us but......... it wasn't meant to be.
So I raise my imaginary drink in the air and toast to an anniversary that is sad and at the same time,
full of possibilities.
Happy anniversary baby. xxoo
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