The final goodbye

A place inside hurts and screams at what has been lost
I wanted so much more than this for myself,
I have learned to climb but still have more to conquer.
The next leg of the journey is to speak my truth..to be myself, alone again... without the walls of manipulation to protect my fears.

My heart is in pain. I have no words to express how I have failed.
It will pass...I will heal...I will learn from my mistakes and move on. I wish I didn't have to without you.

I so wanted you with me and move forward together on this journey but now I see.... in this reality that that dream is impossible. It's so horribly sad that turmoil and bitterness has stripped away all that was good between us and now, the woman I love, speaks to me in disdain, disinterest and fear...
How I loved you....you will never know how deep that dream went but I never, ever expressed it well.

I know how much I hurt you, smothered you and abused you and that reflects on my heart, my soul and I am ashamed. You didn't deserve any of it...always wanting to be right....controlling....I don't know why it was so important to change you.

Now...it truly is the final goodbye. I will no longer be this person and find my
dream, my life...my truth as I know that once i've learned the lessons..only then...will I have love for myself and others.

Goodbye baby xxoo