I remember the night sounds of frogs croaking and branches creaking in those old trees and as a light breeze moved through the leaves, I felt alive and present. The sound of water gently lapping against the shore in the background as we smoked a little grass, drank a lot of beer and spoke softly in an intimacy only woman understand. We were happy, I was happy. I sometimes think this was the last time I felt real contentment and true joy. When I close my eyes, I can transport myself there. I feel wrapped in the past as if a comfortable blanket has been thrown over me.
I loved you all. You gave me a sense of belonging, a secret society I never was privy to as a child. We were all wounded one way or another when we met. We Soothed each others demons and listened to each others stories of sorrow and regret. It was a summer of distractions, of booze and drugs and friendship. While some only touch us for a short while and drifted away over the years,that warm summer of 1995, bound us together...for life. I loved you all with such intensity then. I laughed till I cried and cried till I laughed.
We told our friends and families of our first summer together but no one really understood it all really. I don't think we understood the magic that happened between us either but even now when we tell our stories, our faces light up with recollection, laughter and knowing. We share a secret you see and when our eyes connect,we smile.
We had three summers together before I decided to go on an adventure without them. I carried those memories with me and now when I find I am not happy, which is often, I reach into my heart and remember joy.
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