Isn't it strange that there are certain moments that bring you right there again..
as if you never left!
Thoughts all burst in on each other as memories bombard me.
What if scenario's start popping up again...wishing...
The darker part of my nature knows better.
I haven't changed...I wish... I wish I could let go and be someone else but I am ...no one else.
I have loved you so very deeply and you are always in my thoughts.
My fear of the past, my fear of the future all converge.
I think about the damage and the pain that was inflicted...
I think about neither one of us giving an inch to be better...
to be easier on each other...words flew around the room like on fire..
peace was always allusive, infrequent and yet....
I guess...there is still always...
a wish...a want...a desire...for you....and only you.
I could just be living in my head again. It's what I do.
I have always had a lovely dream of you and I...
but was never able to bring it to fruition.
Maybe it was just to much work....one of us had to change, to adapt, be grounded.
It just never happened so now...we both yearn for something from the other...
Sometimes....sometimes...love just isn't enough or is it?
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