My Last Love

I know you don't want to speak to me anymore,
It causes confusion and pain.
I know you are lonely and sad as
you miss me.... us....passion.
I know you miss our connection, our intimacy
and causes moments of great yearning and want.

I feel your pain everyday as I am still connected to every
emotion you feel.
Maybe I never loved you that deeply...the first love, hard to get over love
the love you feel you will never have again but I have had that first real love
and I know how you feel. I know how long it took to get over that pain.

but....

Maybe I didn't love you like you were my first love but I did love you like you were my last.
You were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
You were the one, after 20 years of exiling love, I shared myself...yes my demons and my flaws
but...My love as well.

I opened my doors to you as much as I could. Doesn't that count? Didn't I give you what you wanted?
It never seemed enough. There was always angst, too much feeling, too much sensitivity, moodiness
just to much emotion? Just...too much.

I miss you everyday and think of you almost as much as I regret our distance.
You are my last love and you got away.

I may never see you again but the yearning will be with me forever.