Bucket list

I'm happier now...
Not so anxious..not so unsure....grounded in me...what I want...what I need.
I want a healthier you...less anxious...less unsure...grounded in yourself..
No more toxic people..drinking...over indulging in things that make me feel...
disconnected to my younger self...my healthier self.
I want to be with someone like that. I want to share my mirror with you...
a healthier...loving you.
My bucket list of love
Grounded in your own love and share with me
healthy mind ..soul...life...
breath your essence in and believe...
Let fear take a back seat..LIVE!
Structure, health, discipline....me.

It's not the same as sugar,
not as sweet....darker
The first bite is always the best,,juicy..dripping from my lips
Breath deeply the virgin air...I am and still are living...
placing my hands on your breasts...I hear oceans in my ears...waves touch ..
I've missed your sweet smells and your blossoms..
love me for I have missed loving you.

Mirror

Have I tricked myself in feeling justified..
Pacifying the inner critic for the moment.
Heard her most of Friday evening ..chattering away about how I failed...
What I could have, should have done. Why I wasn't good enough...same rhetoric
Told her to shut up but she had already done her damage. I heard her.

Why cant I see the truth? Why cant I just accept?
Move forward, one step back...punishing myself for what cant be taken back.

My beauty tries to emerge through the mirror...so close...so ...so...close.

Pushing through..my heart bleeds..then mends a little...I see the tears of blood fall gently to the ground..
A flower pushes through with each tear..eyes in the mirror...I see myself.

The Waring Self

Pacify your inner dreams with sweets and promises but in the end
you have to look in to the mirror and see the truth.
I look towards the horizon with hope and promise,
syrupy drool comes from my lips.
She is the ugly cruel one...she keeps your sweet girl under her thumb.
Held for ransom from

what you truly want.

Life was simpler when you were high and drunk.
Immediate needs meet...living with my back turned...angry and happy all at once.
Fucking...and fucking...dancing for hours in my bubble of now.

Age and reality eventually seep in.
You cant live forever in a world of mirrors and glass.... can you?
I love life...I love breathing in and out but...
on those days when the ooze drips into my mouth and into my thoughts...
the old ugliness is there and pulls back my heart...
stepping backwards one step...it is a nuisance.

Self

Place your heart in my hand, I am there for you.
All the therapy in the world hasn't been able to reconnect you.
Breath in and out....centre yourself.
I am wise yet young...
I am old but youthful....
My heart is open to all this world has to offer..
It is as simple or as difficult as I make it.
I am there, standing behind you, beside you, I am there to protect and guide you.
I am love. I am your soul...trust that I will always catch you.


Prepare for bravery of the heart, prepare for the road you have not travelled,prepare for love
breath in and out....


If you let go, your life will be a happy one.

Slide down the slide then up again.
The roller coaster really hasn't stopped till now.
Sometimes I move forward, then back again.
Tired, angry hurt and more...
This is my one life...why can't I get the love of my life to understand?
It is so simple really but baggage, the past and the future complicate the spirit and direction.
Time to breath and meditate. Clarity will come.

Rebirth

A breath of fresh air has blown in and revived,rejuvenated me.
I kissed her lips and moved into her warmth,
I am home.
Her eyes dance when she looks into mine..she's looking for the hazel light
I am free...allowing myself to be...
Wanting her in every cell of my body and yet, renewed with a new calm and patience that
I've never felt before.
I am alive...she gentle smells me in and remembers... and I?

Love her.