Self

Place your heart in my hand, I am there for you.
All the therapy in the world hasn't been able to reconnect you.
Breath in and out....centre yourself.
I am wise yet young...
I am old but youthful....
My heart is open to all this world has to offer..
It is as simple or as difficult as I make it.
I am there, standing behind you, beside you, I am there to protect and guide you.
I am love. I am your soul...trust that I will always catch you.


Prepare for bravery of the heart, prepare for the road you have not travelled,prepare for love
breath in and out....


If you let go, your life will be a happy one.

Slide down the slide then up again.
The roller coaster really hasn't stopped till now.
Sometimes I move forward, then back again.
Tired, angry hurt and more...
This is my one life...why can't I get the love of my life to understand?
It is so simple really but baggage, the past and the future complicate the spirit and direction.
Time to breath and meditate. Clarity will come.

Rebirth

A breath of fresh air has blown in and revived,rejuvenated me.
I kissed her lips and moved into her warmth,
I am home.
Her eyes dance when she looks into mine..she's looking for the hazel light
I am free...allowing myself to be...
Wanting her in every cell of my body and yet, renewed with a new calm and patience that
I've never felt before.
I am alive...she gentle smells me in and remembers... and I?

Love her.

Closure

My heart physically hurts...

I didn't think I'd be rejected...I believed with such confidence that she would pick me.

Acceptance was her key issue.

It didn't matter what I said.....the truth was too late as she had moved on already

and I wasn't aware.

She gave me the closure I wanted but not the closure I expected.

She saw the changes in me...she knew I was there for her but she just couldn't trust it.

Acceptance? she was right. In the past I wanted to change her, control her...the last six months...

I realized what a waste of my energy and how hurtful this was to her.

I am free of that burden. That lovely creature who turned my world upside down and taught me

so much...I ache for her.

I now have to move pass this lose. Move pass the regret and forgive myself for the hurt I inflicted on her and myself.

I am a wonderful complex passionate person that has just come into her own.

It is now time for the next chapter of my life.

I will so miss you baby. xxoo

The Lesbian Shuffle 101

So....she admits she's in a relationship.

Even though she said she only communicated with her by text for a few months before it moved further, it was a few months while she was with me.

Her needs weren't being met and she found someone to replace me.



Then....when we were officially broken up...around New years...they had sex.
Must have been good as she kept going back.




And now?
We messed around. Realized we still had that "Thing" for each other but she's in a relationship and it cant go any further as this woman meets her needs. Safe and passionless but nether the less, away from passion and upheaval and true love.


I doubt we will ever revisit us. Once the lesbian shuffle begins, there is no going back.

Feeling sad and disillusioned.

For You

So many things going through my head right now. Replay... replay of last night in my mind.
If nothing else, I got too taste your lips again...feel her heat for me and touch your heart.

There were no promises of being reunited from her....she is safe where she is.
I'm not safe.... I hold her heart...her sex......her passion...our story..
her underbelly is exposed when she is with me as mine is with her.
This has been the way its been from the very beginning.
Nothing has changed between us.

I'm healthier now but is it too late for us?
Will she run from me?
I don't blame her....our history is a tumultuous one.
but...she is mine and I am hers.
My heart has always been promised to her.

I have a powerful gift that she has always wanted.
I am finally able to offer myself to her.
I feel whole...alive

I licked her nipples and pushed into her wet cunt....
really...isn't this what I live and breath for with this wonderful creature?

The knowledge that the universe was kind enough to let me have your heart even for the briefest of moments brings a smile to my face. I thank you for that no matter what happens.

The Ache

I dreamed about you last night.
The touch of your hand....the closeness we shared...
it was an intimate dream of once was.
I reached out to you yesterday because of it.
Wishing oh so much that you were at the other end...wanting me..wishing for me.

I live the cliche...
there is a hole in my heart where you once resided.
Even now..I hope for you.

Life moves ever forward...I have friends...I have a life..
my heart has stopped because of you. Like a snapshot..
It doesn't move backward or forward..just still.

My thoughts are always pulled to you at some point of my day.
I like to think you must have been thinking of me recently..
as I feel you oh so close.

That need for you is an ever present ache.

How will I go on.